Final Regrets
by Heaven's Wordsmith
Summary: [One-shot] The titans have been defeated, but Eren has one final decision to make.


**Spoiler warning: Don't read unless you have read to chapter 100 of the manga, at least**.

* * *

Shivers ran down Eren's spine and aroused him from slumber. He scowled, peeling his itchy eyes open. A bubbly pot buzzed with boiling broth nearby, and Mikasa's heels clicked against the wooden floorboards as she approached him. Her dark eyes were round and matched her pale lips forming a frown below. "How are you feeling, Eren?" She rested the back of her hand on her husband's forehead. He wheezed.

"Not any better." He grumbled and sat up. His lungs tightened; a coughing fit ravaged his body.

"Take it easy." Mikasa took his hand. "You need to focus on getting better."

"I already told you I'm not going to get better." He sighed and turned. He stood, his long, brown hair draping over his shoulders.

"Please don't remind me." Her eyes locked onto his hand as she rubbed circles into his skin with shaking thumbs. "How many months do you have left?"

"I don't know." He lifted a hand to her cheek and tilted her face to meet his gaze. Her eyes sparkled with a pain he hadn't seen in many years. It was like standing on the battlefield all over again, but the titans were no more; only a sea of impending, unseen danger remained. "As far as I know, I only have weeks."

Mikasa turned away, returning to a boiling pot on the stove. He sighed. "What do you expect me to do once you're gone?" She muttered. "How do you expect me to raise Petra without you?" She took a knife and began cutting carrots beside the stove. "Why do you always leave me behind, Eren?" Her voice trembled, piercing his heart.

"Mikasa, I-"

"Daddy!" Petra called from the door. The little brunette raced across the kitchen and greeted him with a tight hug. "You're feeling better, aren't you?" She pulled away, holding out a bouquet of wildflowers. "I brought these for you."

"Thank you, Petra." He forced a smile and took the handful of flowers from her. Like tiny, blue stars, their petals stretched out and danced in the air. Eren blinked the mist from his eyes. "Petra, sweetie, why don't you collect some more?" He met her eyes, a reflection of his own. "I'm sure Mommy would like some too."

"Ok!" She smiled brightly and hugged him again before leaving the house again. The door slammed shut behind her.

Eren's lips fell to a sorrowful crease. Laying the flowers aside, he walked to Mikasa. "I don't want to leave you again." He took her hand. She stared at the carrots, unmoving. "It was my mistake to do so when we were kids, and I've had to live with that regret." He gulped and swallowed a threatening sob. "Mikasa, I made a decision."

"What is it?" She whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"You won't like it, but this is something I have to do." He squeezed her hand and closed his eyes. "I have to give Petra the titan's power."

"What?" Her eyes widened. "Eren, you can't!"

"I have to." He opened his eyes. "If I don't, then we risk the power ending up in the wrong hands."

"But what about Petra?" Mikasa gripped his arms, liquid sorrow spilling from her eyes. "She's only eight. If you force her to take this power, you give her only thirteen more years to live!" Her voice trembled. "Would you really reduce our daughter's life span to a mere twenty-one years for the sake of your stupid politics?"

"I don't want to, Mikasa." Shaking his head, he could no longer fight his own tears. "But what choice do I have?" He turned away. His face fell grim as he headed for the basement.

"Eren!" Mikasa called after him. He ignored her and opened the basement door. He descended quickly, pulling the old key from his neck. Hurrying to the back, he pulled out a heavy chest and unlocked it. Opening the lid revealed relics of the past- an old uniform faded with time and use, several journals, another key, and a black briefcase.

"Eren!" Mikasa skipped down the steps. He took the briefcase, shutting the chest.

"I need you to stay in the house Mikasa." He met her distraught gaze and walked back to her, taking her hand. She buried her face into his chest. "I love you." He whispered to her, running his fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry." He pressed his lips to her forehead and allowed them to sink in. After a moment, he pulled away and left her to weep.

Petra sat within a patch of tall grass, gathering the blue flowers. Pouting, Eren watched the distant sun as it began to fall beneath the wooded horizon. _I have to do this_ , he told himself.

 _Choose for yourself whichever decision you'll regret least_ , Levi's words echoed in his ears. He blinked and shook his head. The screams of his fallen companions carried on and cut a deep crevice within his heart. _No matter what I choose, someone will die. There are no right or wrong choices in this world._ He squeezed his eyes shut and fought the images of past carnage as they flashed before him.

"Daddy?" Petra stood. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, Petra." He shook his head again and opened his eyes as they clouded. He forced a smile. "There's… something I want to show you."

"Really?" She smiled and skipped to his side. He took her hand.

"Yeah. It's out in the forest." He avoided her eyes, looking to the trees. A sharp pain gripped his chest. He squeezed her hand.

"What is it, Daddy?" She scanned his face as they started toward the forest.

"A surprise." He cleared his throat. His eyes stung as he held his daughter in one hand and her fate in the other. Going into the forest, they walked until they were a safe distance from Mikasa and the house. They stopped, and he knelt before her, setting the briefcase aside.

"I like surprises!" She grinned. He hesitated with shaky hands.

"I love you, Petra." He couldn't hold the trembling from his voice as he opened the case. The girl's smile fell.

"Daddy, what's wrong?"

"Hold still." He took her wrist and lifted a needle from the case. She gasped.

"What are you doing?" She pulled against his grip. He held her still, forcing himself to meet her gaze. His vision rippled with the water that flooded his eyelids.

"I love you, Petra." He repeated. "I'm sorry."

She cried out as he stuck the needle into her arm. _Eren, the difference between your decision and ours is experience. But you don't have to rely on that. Choose. Believe in yourself. Or believe in the Survey Corps and me. I don't know... I never have._ _I can believe in my own abilities or the choices of companions I trust. But no one ever knows how it will turn out. So choose for yourself whichever decision you'll regret least._ He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry." _Choose for yourself whichever decision you'll regret least._


End file.
